In 6th grade, I was invited to a Halloween dance at the local rec center. By a BOY! The dance itself was a big deal (like, a once-a-year event with 6th-12th graders). AND I had my first date to boot!
My costume that year was a Playboy bunny. Don't ask why. I have no idea other than I fell in love with a pair of sparkly red stilettos in Goodwill. My mom said if I could walk in them, she'd buy them for me. (She banked on the fact that I'd fall on my face, but I
strutted around the store like I'd been born in them.)
Long story short, my mom bought the heels and helped me make my costume. She even borrowed a friend's padded bra, which I stuffed with socks for good measure.
Of course, I lived in Baltimore, so Halloween is COLD. When I trick-or-treated, my costume would be mostly covered by a long winter coat. But at the dance, I had to take OFF the coat. I almost chickened out and went home.
But then my date arrived and I stayed.
During the dance, an older girl came up to me, pointed at my obviously fake boobs, and asked, "Are those real?"
Like a idiot, I said yes.
Don't know who I thought I was fooling.
She jabbed my padded bra, cackled like a hyena, and told the entire room about my big fake chest.
I ran home humiliated. And the boy? Well, that was the ONLY date we ever had...
When it comes to being more confident, most advice out there is like a giant padded bra. All style and no substance.
Slogans like "Fake it til you make it" leave you feeling more like a fraud than ever before.
Look, we all have this built-in B.S. detector. We can TELL when we're lying to ourselves.
Imposter syndrome is real, and "fake it till you make it" just SCREAMS imposter!
Like my giant fake chest I tried to pass off as real. At TWELVE...
True confidence doesn't come from faking it. It comes from being yourself. Loving and accepting every bit of yourself - even the parts that aren't fit to print in your bio.
So don't put on a giant padded bra of fake confidence. You're not fooling anyone - least of all yourself.
Be authentic. Show your weaknesses. And stop pretending to be something you aren't.
That's when TRUE confidence starts to develop.
When's a time YOU tried to fake it till you make it and it backfired?
Hit reply and let me know!
