In a recent call with one of my private clients, Janice, she told me she was feeling burned out because of ongoing friction with her assistant, who doesn’t recognize Janice’s authority as the boss/leader of the company. She constantly questions Janice’s ideas and direction.

“That’s not the way to do it,” the assistant keeps telling Janice. “You should do THIS instead.” The constant conflict was exhausting.

Janice tried all the “typical” self-care techniques to recharge, but no matter how many massages she got, no matter how many naps she took, she still felt burned out and stressed.

I had a feeling what was missing from her self-care habits.

But first, we dove deeper in the company culture she’d created. Her original vision for her company was “one big happy family.” And when she hired her assistant, Janice encouraged an atmosphere of collaboration. She even leaned on her assistant’s expertise because she didn’t fully trust her own judgment.

No wonder the assistant didn’t respect Janice’s authority!

Now that she was more experienced and confident in her business, Janice was trying to step up as a leader. But that atmosphere of collaboration undermined her efforts.

She needed to shift the company culture.

She needed her assistant to recognize her as the boss.

She needed BOUNDARIES.

But like many women, Janice found boundaries difficult and uncomfortable. She was taught, like most of us, to put her needs on the back burner and take care of everyone else first. To not rock the boat.

As we explored her beliefs about boundaries, Janice came to see where she’d lost herself to the expectations of those around her. For instance, when her husband asked for restaurant suggestions for their upcoming date night, she couldn’t answer because she was so used to only thinking about where the KIDS would eat. (Sound familiar?)

And in her business, this lack of boundaries caused her needless conflict, tension, and drama.

So Janice is working on establishing and maintaining clear and loving boundaries. Ones that are loving to HER as well as the people around her. Ones that meet her needs. Ones that help her step up as a leader in her business and end the needless conflict.

She's coming to understand boundaries as an essential part of self-care. As an expression of her self-worth. That SHE is just as worthy as everyone else of having her needs met.

If your self-care isn't cutting it, examine your boundaries.

Where do you need better boundaries in  your life and business?