Do you have trouble setting boundaries?
So many women do!
For much of my life, I was too wrapped up in other people's opinions of me to set healthy boundaries. My self-worth was tied to people's approval. More importantly, though, I was taught to put other people's needs ahead of my own. To sacrifice myself for their sake.
(Sound familiar?)
Too many women deny their personal boundaries out of feelings of guilt and selfishness.
An overly-developed sense of obligation to others.
An inability to say "No."
Poor boundaries can lead to burnout. It can cause you to feel resentful and taken advantage of. A disappearing to self in a way that's unhealthy and harmful.
If any of that sounds familiar, know this: You aren't a prisoner to the things other people say you "should" do.
What “should” beliefs do you hold?
- You should answer all emails within 24 hours.
- You should work first and play later.
- You should bend over backwards to make your clients happy.
- You should put your needs on the back burner to take care of everyone else in your life.
- You should keep a spotless house, cook nutritious meals, rock your business, AND volunteer in your community/church/kids’ school – and do it all with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. (Cue the Disney music.)
Question your "shoulds." Where did they come from? Are they your beliefs, or someone else's?
Which ones will you keep, and which ones will you let go of?
Establish clear, firm, loving boundaries. And by loving, I mean loving to yourself as well. You are just as important as everyone else of having your needs met.
Boundaries are an integral part of self-care. In fact, that’s where you should START. (Keep an eye out next week for more on that…)
Do you have trouble setting – and maintaining – boundaries? What beliefs do you need to give up in order to set those healthy boundaries?
