Hey, Beautiful!
In my last email, we talked about how your past shapes you but doesn't define you. How traumatic experiences activate the seeds of strength and resilience that exist within you. (If you missed it, you can read it here.)
A question I get a lot about trauma goes something like this: "I've never experienced abuse or the death of a child. So how can my past affect me?"
While you may not have experienced Big "T" trauma like sexual abuse or a near-death experience, most of us experience multiple little "t" traumas in our lifetimes: loss of important relationships, bullying, emotional abuse (though I'd put that in Big "T" trauma). A parent or partner who routinely explodes in anger. Constant put-downs from an authority figure. Parents who were emotionally unavailable.
Anything that fundamentally alters the way you view yourself - that makes you feel Less Than, Not Good Enough, or Unworthy - or that fundamentally alters your everyday reality can be considered little "t" trauma.
For example, my husband just started a job as an over-the-road trucker. While our family is very much still intact and we are still very much in love, this change fundamentally altered our family dynamics. I am now a solo parent 90% of the time.
I needed to recognize this change as a trauma so I could make a successful transition. Don't get me wrong: It was a HARD transition. The day-to-day is still hard. But identifying it as a little "t" trauma gave me the permission to accept just how hard it really is. I stopped beating myself over my own unrealistic expectation to "handle it better."
Not to be a victim. But to move forward.
The degree of trauma is not what matters as much as how the trauma affects you.
What little "t" traumas have you experienced in life, and how have they affected your confidence? Your willingness to stand up for yourself? To BE yourself?
