Hey, Beautiful!
Rebel.
Maybe, for you, the word brings up images of a 1950s-era, motorcycle-jacket-wearing tough guy who smoked cigarettes in the high school bathroom. Or maybe a bad-ass girl boss smashing barriers and playing by their own rules.
In a Facebook group I'm a part of, the leader recently asked if anyone considered themselves a rebel. The question sparked a really interesting discussion.
I used to be a people pleaser. A play-by-the-rules, don't-make-waves conformist. Partly because, when I stood up for myself, I usually faced dangerous consequences - like the butcher knife jabbed into my stomach after I flinched from an abuser's touch. Partly because I was afraid to be myself. (And after so many years of living by other people's expectations, I didn't even really know who I was anymore.)
I needed to become a rebel to shed the labels of Unlovable and Worthless that I'd "learned" about myself. To stand up for myself and protect myself. To rediscover myself and my fundamental identity. No, I didn't go off and smoke cigarettes in the high school bathroom. I didn't rebel from authority. I rebelled from conditioning. I defined what I meant by being a rebel, and it was a positive thing.
But another gal in the group (we'll call her Terry) mentioned that, when she was growing up, her dad always called her a rebel because she had her own way of doing things. She didn't think she was a rebel and she wasn't trying to rebel (read: be naughty). She was simply finding her own way and honoring her natural learning style.
Yet she absorbed the label of rebel, and it tanked her self-esteem. She became more compliant. As an adult, she had a hard time stepping into her leadership role as an entrepreneur, because she still carried that guilt of being a rebel. For her, being a rebel was a negative thing.
How could the same label be part of healing and freedom in one instance and a source of soul-sucking suppression in another?
The answer: Who defined the label. You see, I defined my own label. Terry's label was defined by other people.
What labels do you carry, and who defined them? Chances are, you carry some labels with pride (most likely the ones you define yourself), and some with shame (those labels that were defined for you).
You can choose which labels to carry around.
It's time to ditch the labels which have been "put on" you by others.
It's time to rebel against your conditioning and redefine labels of your own choosing.
It's time to rediscover the heart and soul of who you truly are so you can step into your greatness and be YOU in your life and business.
